He will not ask for much. He may not ask at all. Here is what the first weeks look like, what to have in the house, and how to help without hovering.
Buy these before the day. Male incontinence guards, not women's pads, and pull-up style underwear. A waterproof mattress protector. Loose, dark, soft clothing. A small toilet stool, flushable wipes, and the stool softener his surgical team recommends.
Have all of it before the catheter comes out. He will go through several pads a day at first.
How long will the catheter stay in? When can he start pelvic floor exercises? What leaking should we expect in the first month, and when should we call? What are his lifting and activity limits? Who do we call, day or night?
Write the answers down. He will not remember them.
He comes home with a catheter, usually for seven to fourteen days. His job is to walk, rest, and drink water. Short walks, ten to fifteen minutes, two or three times a day.
He should lift nothing heavier than ten pounds. No groceries, no laundry baskets. That part is yours for now.
This is the day most men dread. Leaking is almost guaranteed, and some men leak a lot. It is expected, and how much he leaks that first day says very little about where he ends up.
Have a guard and a change of clothes with you at that appointment.
He beat cancer and he is supposed to feel grateful. He may also feel embarrassed and angry that his body will not cooperate. Some men withdraw. Some stop going out because they are afraid of an accident.
You do not need to fix it. Let him know you know, and that it is temporary. The secrecy is worse than the conversation.
Once the catheter is out and his doctor clears him, he starts pelvic floor exercises. They are small and private, a few minutes, three times a day.
The most useful thing you can do is make them routine. Same times each day. Do not count for him. Do not ask how many pads. Ask what got easier this week.
Erections are affected for most men after this surgery, and they recover slowly, over months. That is nerve healing. It is not about you.
Talk about it early. Most partners are more understanding than a man expects.
Follow the discharge instructions, and call about severe pain, fever, or unexpected bleeding.
How to Stop Leaking After Prostate Surgery
Kegel Exercises After Prostate Surgery: How to Do Them Right
Exercises to Do Before Prostate Surgery
When Can You Exercise After Prostate Surgery? Walking, Lifting, Golf, Running
The First Week After Prostate Surgery: What to Expect
Recovery After Prostate Surgery: A Week-by-Week Guide
Pads for Men After Prostate Surgery: What to Buy and How to Leave the House
Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy After Prostate Surgery: Do You Need It?
The Stages of Incontinence After Prostatectomy
Still Leaking 3 or 6 Months After Prostate Surgery? What to Do Next
Life After Prostate Removal: What to Expect
Kegel Exercises for Men: How to Do Them Right
Dr. Meg Cochran is a licensed Doctor of Physical Therapy specializing in pelvic floor rehabilitation, and treats men after prostate surgery through Where You Are Physical Therapy in Oxford, Mississippi.
This article is educational and is not medical advice, a diagnosis, or a substitute for in-person care. Follow your surgical team's instructions. If you have urgent symptoms including severe pain, fever, unexpected bleeding, or a sudden change in function, contact your healthcare provider.
The first week after prostate surgery, written out step by step by Dr. Meg. What to do with the catheter in. What to skip. What to have in the house. Enter your email and it opens right away.
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Educational content. Not medical advice.
The Prostate Recovery Quick Start is Dr. Meg showing you the first exercises on video, from before surgery through week 4, with the two sheets to print. Open it on any phone, tablet, or computer, from anywhere. It is educational, not physical therapy.
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